Remember that blog that I started once?

Hey, great big internet world. Remember that time that I was all "I'm so excited! I'm going to blog so much!"? Yeah ... oops.

So I'm back now. Ish. I probably won't blog constantly like I said - but there will probably be spurts of ridiculous blogging-ness. Because, basically, I let stuff all build up in my brain, and then eventually I feel the need to write it all down. Right now, I'm dwelling on three different things. Which one should I blog about? Hmmmm ...

So, recently I've been reflecting on my degree choice. I feel like, in this instance, my mother's favorite "how can you be so smart and so stupid?!?" saying really applies. I mean, really. Sociology? When you knew you wouldn't have the personality for social work, and you probably wouldn't be able to just jet off to grad school to become a researcher? Really? I should have just went for the early childhood degree. If any of my sophomore-year-of-college-friends are reading this, you know what I'm talking about. That brief but intense crisis near the end of our 3rd semester at college when I realized I wanted to do early childhood education instead of sociology? Yeah, totally should have went with that.

But, except for that brief crisis, I wasn't thinking about what I'd do with my degree. Sociology was fascinating. I couldn't get enough of it. I loved my sociology classes, especially cultural anthropology and subcultures. In contrast, the early childhood education classes looked downright unappealing. I wanted to stretch my mind and my experiences - to look at phenomenons from other cultures and see life from other peoples' perspectives. Lesson plans involving picture books and times tables really didn't look like my cup of tea at all.

Of course, that's great, until you graduate from college Summa Cum Laude with a B.A. in Sociology and nobody ... NOBODY ... wants to hire you. Yeah, it's partially the economy, sure. But sociology is mostly, if not entirely, theoretical. What does one do with theoretical knowledge? Write a book? Do research? Yup, those would work. If you're a Ph.D. and can get published. And guess who isn't planning on getting a doctorate? Yup, you got it. Silly little me.

I had grand plans before/during college. Research, travel, advanced degrees. Here's where things start to get a little tricky - so please don't read into it. Everything changed when I got married and moved out of state. And no, it's not an "oh my goodness, all my dreams are crushed, how could you do this to me?" kind of change. It's more of a "how can I fulfill all of my dreams when they seem so mutually exclusive?" kind of change. You know, you get married, move away with your husband, and all of a sudden, in addition to your plans of travel and learning, you have dreams of a nice little house in a small town with half a dozen little kids playing in the fenced-in backyard with the family dog. What's a girl to do?

I know there are women out there who have done both - fulfilled both their career/academic dreams and their dreams of family and belonging. But I just don't see how I can. Even without the fiasco that was my GRE (yeah, that was ridiculous) I don't see how I can do everything. I realize I'm only 22 - I've got tons of time (statistically, that is). But I'm close to desperate to expand our family already - and I don't want to be an inattentive mother when the time comes. And why is it that I feel like I'm the only person in this situation? (I think I need to be more sociable)

I figured I should add - my husband has been awesome about all of this. He hasn't tried to push me one way or the other. But he also can't really sympathize with my situation - he's got a stable career that he loves, and he wouldn't have to consider quitting if we had kids. So there you go.

Well .... that's about it. Fantastic insights into the mind of me. Enjoy :-P